Worry free weekend

I passed my vendor exam yesterday. I didn’t know how am I gonna do. I had scheduled my exam 11:00 am. I woke up early, ate breakfast and went to school. I went to the office to make sure they have scheduled my exam and everything is all right. The responsible lady told me I have one hour to wait. I knew I had to rest before exam. I went to the second floor in the computer lab. Labs are one of the silent places in the school. I sat on the chair and put my head on my arms which were leaning on the table. I tried to concentrate but, I couldn’t. I was worrying about the exam every second. The only way out was listening or watching something not related to the subject. Thanks to “YouTube”. After watching a couple of funny videos my mind forgot about exam. The lady appeared and instructed me to the exam room. I went inside. It was a tiny room with a maximum capacity of 3-4 people at a time, controlled and watched by instructors with remote cameras from the main office. I said my prayer and started the exam. It was 90 multiple choice questions, having multiple answers at a time. To be honest, some of the vocabularies were hard for me. But, Alhamdulillah I passed the exam with a decent score. May Allah help us all in our lives.

LOVE

I think people give “love” an unfair meaning these days. They love the reason behind people and things, not people themselves. which changes the meaning of love. They often mistake their lust with love. I think love shouldn’t be just for a period of time. It should have comprehensive and extensive meaning.
Let me ease the matter by proposing some simple questions. Didn’t you love to go to school? You might say yes. I say: have you tried to find why did you loved to go to school? You might have seen your friend just graduating and finding a good job, paying him good money. Then, I say: you love money not school. You might want to have prominent status in society that is why you went to school. I say: you love status not school. Didn’t you love to have that car, computer, television, game or etc. your saying: yes. Then, why did you start forgetting about it and start loving and desired to having the same kind but, newer version of it as soon as it came to the market? It might sound derisive. These cars, computers, pens, games, televisions and so many other things are not that important to think that deep about. You are right. But, I think these small unimportant things are best exercises to master controlling your lust and self (NAFS). It will help you be ready to distinguish true love for important things in your life. So, find out the main reason why you love something or someone. Distinguish if you love the reason or the one itself? If the reason you love your spouse is money. You might end up divorcing your spouse in the second month, after finding a better person with more money. It means you didn’t love your spouse for who he or she was. You loved what he or she had.
There are true samples of love in this world you might want to know. Very close to you, one of them is your mother. No matter how ugly you are. your mother loves you more than the prettiest person, her whole life. She not just takes care of you, changes your diapers and feeds you with patience while you are the most annoying little child. She also do love you at the same time. Those soldiers are samples of true love who face death every second. But, they still fight for their countries freedom. Those writers can allege that they love their careers who write the truest dangerous words of the rulers.
One way or another, you are going to experience this in your life. Then, Control your indomitable acute lust and Love things for what they are before it is too late.

Eid

It was the saddest Eid ever. I felt shading in mountains of shame. I wish I could change the time. There was no way I could do that.

Again, I wished I was home. Unfortunately, I wasn’t. Eid prayer supposed to start 9:00am. “Wake up, you have to go.” My wife said. I glanced at the watch with my half open eyes and sadly replied: “It’s already 9:30.” I didn’t want to exist for the time being. I thought I don’t deserve participating in such a holy day without performing prayer.

Mom would have woke me up on time if she was here. Unluckily, my mother was thousands and thousands miles away from me. That was another sad moment of life; I really felt absence of my family again. I was waiting for the end of the day, I have waited months for. I still wish I didn’t missed the prayer.

U-Turn

What comes in your mind when you have to take an inevitable u-turn on your way? Do you think “u-turn” is only a “U” shape turn by something to reverse direction, or, a complete reversal in opinion, actions, or policy? Generally, people think they have wasted their time on the action which has ended to a u-turn.
To the best of my knowledge, we sometimes take one step backward to go hundreds of thousands of steps forward. Don’t you think it is derisive to sit at the end of a dead end street instead of making a u-turn and move farther? U-turn is not a negative step to your journey. But, it is one of the positive steps of your journey by taking a different direction.
You are going to face lots of u-turns in your life. Don’t hesitate to take a step backward to invariably continue the rest of your journey. If you refuse the fact that there are u-turns in life and give up, You are going to live rest of your life at the end of a dead end street.

I even think in English

In the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping, I am rummaging every corner of my brain to find the exact word, so that I can instinctively continue my imagination. In order to remarkably improve my English; I invariably think in English besides speaking, reading and writing. As English is my second language I inexplicably get confused some times. I misunderstand meanings of words; I use them as I used to use the same meanings in my own language. I forget hard words and I mix words from other languages with English. It might be derisive to hear that I even take my notebook to the toilet with me.

Yes! That is the truth. In my point of view nothing is impossible in this world. But, changing the impossibility to possibility depends on how much you want that to happen in your life. How serious are you? Are your goals really important to you?! Look at you! That car you drive, house where you live, clothes that you wear, school where you study and on and on. Were you checking the mail one day and you saw that the department of motor and vehicle (DMV) sent you a driver license that you never applied for? Did anyone give that car to you for free? Did you wake up one day finding yourself in a strange bed? Seeing the keys to an apartment with a one year contract free for you to live? Did any magician put these clothes on you in the blink of an eye? Or vehemently, did a super power drag and drop you to school? No. you studied the driving book, gave the oral and behind the wheel test, saved your money and bought the car. You intended to have such a place to live in. you spent so much effort, that is why you are living in your own place. You wanted to wear something else. You went to the closet chose those clothes among the hundreds of clothes you have and you are now wearing it. The amount of effort you put towards your education is reflected by the level of education you have achieved. You studied non-stop that’s why you are graduating early. You did well in school that’s why you are accepted to the best university around the world.

As a conclusion, it is apparent to write that what you own now, is your past intentions and goals you set plus effort you spent to make your wishes come true. That is why I even think in English. I am using every chance in hand to change my skimpy English to a better one. I think eloquent speech is persuasive and easy to understand. That’s why I am getting prepared to face my difficulties with better English in America. You work on what you want to have in the future. You will not regret setting valuable goals for your future, though; you are not going to achieve them without hard work.